Another spidery visitation


I'm beginning to wonder if Andres and my daughter are colluding to get me ready for the launch of Phobia Free for spiders. As I've already said I try really hard not to appear scared of spiders in front of my daughter so I don't pass on my phobia, but it isn't easy!

Over the New Year my four year old had one of the bugs going round and was running a high temperature. She lay on the sofa watching kid's TV and periodically sending me off for 'more juice daddy, no not that one; the fizzy one' interspersed with 'when's mummy coming home' and 'mummy makes this nicer than you'. It was a trying time for both of us!

I was in the kitchen on my third attempt at making hot honey and lemon 'like mummy does' when she came rushing in looking hot, sweaty, and scared---and said there's a 'big spider on the table'.

She looked at me and I at her. Clearly, I was expected to deal with this. She seemed a little shocked as I put on my walking boots and picked up a large hard-backed book! Trying to appear calm I crept around the lounge doorway whilst also trying to appear unconcerned. There was nothing to be seen. Growing in confidence, I went in looked around---still nothing.

My daughter stood at the doorway. It then occurred to me she looked hot; very hot. Probably hot enough to be delirious. Switching into 'doctor mode'  I thought: 'Hmm, yes, visual hallucinations occur in feverish children. As an aside, seeing spiders is more common in alcohol withdrawal, but this seemed unlikely in a four-year-old, even after the New Year festivities.

I told her 'there's nothing there, I think you imagined it'. She appeared sceptical, but came in the room and took her place back on the sofa. I laughed to myself thinking that I had been scared by my daughters feverish hallucinations.

After a few deep breaths I went off to make her drink and get her some paracetamol. I came back in and she informed me the spider wasn't on the table anymore, but was in the wastepaper bin. 'Yeah right,' I thought beginning to wonder if a trip to the doctor was necessary given the recurrent hallucinations and peered into the bin......

My daughter has promised never to use the 'bad words' daddy used and so far has kept her word. 

It was a whopper!

My wife, who eventually came back from the New Year sales, said it wasn't that big and asked if it was really necessary to have piled three large books on the bin.

You'll be pleased to hear my daughter made a full recovery. I am still having nightmares!

Maybe I should have given her some 'Dismal Swamp!'